(May 1958) Deshmukh had finished preparing the manuscript for the book Beams, and Ramakrishnan had been given it for proofreading and typing before it was taken to America for publication by Sufism Reoriented, Inc. Ramakrishnan had finished it the late night of May 13th, stitched it in book form and put a pink cover around it. The next day, he handed it to Baba, who admired the work and appreciated his efforts.
Baba then began asking Ramakrishnan, “What time did you go to bed last night? What time did you get up? What have you had to eat?” and so on. When Ramakrishnan said that he had gone to sleep at 2:30 A.M. the previous night, Baba appeared concerned and asked him to retire early that night. “This is my order,” he added, and Ramakrishnan nodded that he would comply.
A few lovers were seated in front of Baba that day. He was sitting in a chair at one end near the door. All of a sudden, he asked Ramakrishnan, “Have you surrendered to me?” Yes was his spontaneous reply. Baba appeared surprised and then with his thumb and forefinger made the gesture of a circle indicating it was good. One by one he began asking the mandali the same question, “Have you surrendered?” Each man replied in the negative.
Hearing the replies, Ramakrishnan was quite stupefied. He thought: “How strange it is. These men who have been with Baba for years, who live in constant obedience to his orders and serve him ceaselessly – if they, who have left everything and followed him, have not surrendered to him, who else could have?” And he wondered if the mandali were making fun of him.
But after the mandali had been asked, Baba remarked, “I am happy that at least one has surrendered to me.” Baba began playing a game of cards. After some time, it was announced that tea would be served in the next room. Quickly, most everyone left the room. Ramakrishnan was still sitting there, and Baba gestured for him also to go for tea. After a few minutes all were called back to the room. Baba was standing on the veranda, Goher by his side. His face was flushed with anger. He complained, “All have left me and gone for tea!” Looking directly at Ramakrishnan, he gestured, “And you think all of them have surrendered to me!” Ramakrishnan was puzzled, not yet accustomed to Baba’s ways.
After a while Baba calmed down. Adi arrived and discussed some work with Baba. When he left, Ramakrishnan went with him, as Adi was staying at his home in Kirkee overnight. They went out in the evening for some work and returned at about 10:30 P.M. Adi left early the next morning for Guruprasad, but he returned soon after to tell Ramakrishnan, “Baba said you have disobeyed him.” Saying this, he drove away. Ramakrishnan recalled that Baba had ordered him to go to bed early the previous night. But when he returned home from work at 12:30 P.M. that day, Dadi Kerawala came with Meherjee on a scooter to convey this message to him, “Baba said don’t worry. He has forgiven you.”
Lord Meher, American ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 15, pp. 5382 – 5383.