Matra Dutta Shastri also could not sleep. He recited a Sanskrit shloka praising the advent of the Avatar Krishna, and then in a paroxysm of weeping sought Baba’s forgiveness for his sins. Baba called him and held him in a loving embrace.
As Baba was consoling him, someone remarked about Matra Shastri, “He was feeling something within which made him restless, and so he couldn’t sleep.”
Baba thereupon explained to Matra Shastri:
Don’t be afraid. There is no need to say anything. If I am the Avatar, then I know everything. The only thing I have come for and can give is forgiveness. It is the most supreme thing for those who are forgiven. Christ often said, “I forgive you, I forgive you.” Some considered this as his prasad (real gift), but people in general could not understand him.
If I am the Avatar, everything will be forgiven. If I am not the Avatar, what use would it be to ask my forgiveness? In fact, there is nothing to be forgiven. There is nothing like good and bad. Due to your bindings, you take it that way. In this bondage, there is good and there is bad; but eventually everything is zero. Maya is there for you, not for me.
Were I to tell Niranjan Singh that I have forgiven something, what does it mean? It means that I have freed him from the bondage of the thing. Whatever is forgiven is the binding of Maya. It is not a great thing for me to forgive. But whom to forgive and what to forgive when nothing exists!
When I tell you I forgive you, what happens? Then your bindings in duality become loose, and it does not take time to forgive.
Suppose there is a stack of hay. A single lighted match can set it aflame in no time at all. What is this pile? Mere scraps of straw – sanskaras! So for me, whatever your accumulated dirt and refuse of sins, it takes me no time to burn them. Divine forgiveness burns them away in no time.
So, I forgive you, Shastri. Don’t worry about thoughts. Always take my name. Let any thought come; don’t worry, but continue repeating my name.
I have explained this to the mandali two or three times before; I tell it to you today. It is a good example. When mosquitoes bite you, you come down with malaria. As a preventative, you use a mosquito net. Despite it, the mosquitoes buzz outside and are ready to bite you. But, the mosquito net saves you from being bitten, and consequently, you do not suffer from malaria. Now, mosquitoes are your thoughts, and the mosquito net, either old or new, good or bad, is my name, contact and company. When you are within the mosquito net – Meher Baba’s name – even hoards of mosquitoes buzzing outside – that is, your thoughts, good or bad – will not touch you and you will be saved from malaria – bindings. So always think of Baba’s name, and whatever thoughts you might have, don’t worry about them.
Shastri had had a passing doubt about Meher Baba’s Avatarhood, which disturbed his mind. Without telling Baba about it, he had prayed for his forgiveness, and Baba resolved everything without asking for any explanation. This incident made Shastri’s faith in Baba firm.
Lord Meher, American ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 13, pp. 4778 – 4779.