One retired judge had been on a pilgrimage to Badri Narayan, a sacred Hindu shrine in the Himalayas. As he told Baba about his visit, Baba asked, “Did you see me there?” The man was silent.
Baba then stated at length to him:
The fun is, although I am with you and within you all, you travel far and wide to find me. I am the Infinite One, infinitely near to everyone, but because of this infinite nearness, it becomes infinitely difficult for you to find me. Until you see the world as worthless, you cannot see me. Once you have a glimpse of my divinity, you have an infinite longing to see me as I am. Owing to this intensity you get painted unawares spiritually.
Baba quoted these lines of Kabir in Hindi:
“One very, very slowly gets painted spiritually;
mind takes a very, very long time to vanish completely;
and the man who has slept for ages (in ignorance)
gets awakened very, very gradually.”
On the Spiritual Path, in the subtle world at different stages, the aspirant gets unusual and splendid experiences of sweet music, perfumes and the sights of lovely lights. In the mental world, the seeing of God has its beginning and culmination. A rare one, who with enough patience keeps his heart open, sees me as I should be seen; but even this “seeing” is not the goal. You have to become me.
Time steeped in infinite eagerness and patience rolls on and, at the opportune moment, the aspirant begins to lose the awareness of himself as being a separate “self.” Although awake, he becomes literally blank to all that can be seen in the six planes of consciousness and thus experiences infinite vacuum, or complete “blackout” of the Nothing. Then, in an instant, he becomes fully conscious of God as Everything.
Consciousness of the Nothing is the Vacuum State. Consciousness of Everything is the God State. (1) But this needs my grace.
One of the devotees interrupted, pleading, “Baba, we seek your grace.”
In response, Baba replied:
No one gets it from his seeking or asking. You may be ready even to give up your very life for it, but with all this you cannot claim grace. How can you demand grace? The very desire to possess grace is a barrier in receiving it. It is an act of unbounded spontaneity.
However, in a sense you cannot love me without my grace, and as such all of the “experiences” you have are nothing but a game of my grace.
But grace as grace is quite different. It is not received in parts. It is infinitely indivisible and so indescribable. It is the whim of the fully conscious Infinite to make the apparently finite realize its Infinity. On the part of the finite it can be likened to a drop gulping the Ocean!
Baba then gestured, “Enough of this subject now. Only love counts. Is it not mentioned in the circular that you are not to expect any discourse from me? So let us have some songs now.”
(1) Meher Baba was referring to the divine states of Nirvan-Nirvikalp.
Lord Meher, American ed., Bhau Kalchuri,Vol. 17, pp. 5832 – 5833.