FEBRUARY 1958 – THE SPLIT “I” OR SPLIT EGO.
. . . Baba discoursed on the Split “I” or Split Ego:
I have dictated points about the present discourse which will be read out in English, and its translations in Hindi and Marathi. We have heard about split personality. We hear it is quite common. One day a person may be happy and in a buoyant mood, and the next day or next moment, he may feel dejected and depressed. One day, he does good actions and the next, he may do actions which are undesirable. Compared to split personality, split ego or split “I” is something new. Never before has such a thing been explained. It is quite original.
Most of you must have heard about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde a combination of good and evil propensities in one man. This is a good example of a split personality.
Just as there is a thing like split personality, there is also a thing like split ego. All do not have a split personality, but all do have a split “I.” The Real “I” of all is always one indivisible whole. Simultaneously, there is also the false “I” in every individual which gives rise to his separative existence. We find that the very same one Real “I” plays the part of infinite false “I”s in different ways, creating as many separate beings and things born out of the one Real and Eternal Existence.
In the reality of God, there is only one Real “I.” This Real “I” is so uncompromisingly one and indivisible that it knows not any separate existence. All of you present here are the part and parcel of that one whole inseparable “I.” Then, how is it that we see forms here? From where has this division come? If this separation were not there, then no one would have found that there is only one indivisible Real “I.” The “I” is real; but the split ego that is, the separative “I” is unreal, and yet we see all this division. This one Real “I” is apparently split into innumerable false “I”s. What can we expect from this false “I?” The false “I,” being false, represents everything false. The Real “I” in me sees the One without a second, and the Real “I” in you has apparently split into the false “I” which sees divisions everywhere.
In short, it is the one Real “I” that plays the part of innumerable false “I”s in multifarious ways and in varying degrees. The main support of the false “I” is ignorance, and this false “I” utilizes three channels for its expression the gross (physical) body, the subtle body (energy) and the mental body (mind). In other words, with the support of ignorance, the Real “I” takes itself as the false “I” and tries to derive as much fun out of it as possible. While continuing to derive fun, it is also continually enduring setbacks and suffering. What happens eventually? The Real “I” eventually gets fed up and stops playing the part of the false “I.”
As soon as the Real “I” stops playing the part of the false “I,” it becomes conscious of its original pristine state. This Consciousness is eternal. And it also realizes that, being eternally happy, its experience of being fed up was sheer, nonsensical ignorance.
The Real “I,” when playing the part of the false “I,” as the false “I,” whatever it does, sees, feels, thinks, understands and says is utterly false.
The aim of all yogas is one: the false ego, or the falsity of the split ego, should disappear, and the Real Ego be manifested in its glory. In other words, the Real “I,” which plays the part of the false “I,” should completely forget to play the part it plays of the false “I” through action and search for Reality.
For example, look at Eruch. He is the Real “I” within; but as Eruch, he is the false “I.” Now the Real “I” within Eruch tries to forget that it is only playing the part of the false “I” as Eruch. While trying to do so, the false “I” as Eruch tries its best to serve so many other false “I”s. This it does by actions; it is called karma yoga. But the fun or irony is that one false “I,” in its struggle to forget, to efface itself, remembers so many other false “I”s which are bent upon serving themselves.
The Real “I,” which is eternally free, gets apparently further bound by this process, and it is eternally trying to forget the false “I” and trying to remember the Real “I” at one and the same time.
In another type of yoga, bhakti yoga, the Real “I,” while acting the part of the false “I,” tries to worship the Real. The false “I” cannot be anything but false and it cannot have any conception of the Real “I.” The Real “I,” acting as the false “I,” forms a false conception of the Real “I.” Then what does the false “I” say? It says: “O Real ‘I,’ I worship Thee in all! You are the Only Reality. I bow down to Thee. You are Omniscient in all,” ad infinitum. And the irony is that when the false “I” prays to and worships the Real “I,” it sees and comes across, in fact, only other innumerable false “I”s. In fact, it worships other false “I”s rather than the One and Real “I.”
However, the path of love, prem yoga, is unique because, in that form of yoga, the Real “I” plays the part of the false “I,” the lover, while it, itself, covertly remains in the background as the Beloved. And, while continuing to play this part, it burns or consumes its false ego, ultimately to remain itself as the Beloved.
In Eruch, for example, the Real “I” acts as the false “I” and loves the Real “I” within. On one hand, there is the Real “I,” and on the other there is the false “I” as Eruch. But these are not two separate “I”s. The false “I” as Eruch, tries to bestow love on the Real “I.” And that is why with a gradual increase in love and with a greater intensity of longing, the false “I” by degrees (as the lover) gets more and more consumed effaced by love. All the while, the Real “I” as the Beloved remains in the background as it really is. Eventually, when the false “I” is totally consumed, there remains neither the false “I” nor love. The Beloved as the Real “I” reigns supreme as One Infinite, Indivisible Self.
In the subtle planes, the inner experience of the Real “I” may be said to be a divine hallucination. In the mental planes, the inner experiences of the Real “I” may be said to be a spiritual nightmare. Inner experiences end in divine awakening.Lord Meher, 1st. ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 15, pp. 5310 – 5313.
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