Besides Baba’s acute physical suffering, there was another element which made these times even more trying and unbearable for the Meherazad mandali, and that was Baba’s mental attitude. It was as though he were only interested in remaining disinterested. If anything were told to him, he would not pay the slightest attention to it and seemed totally unconcerned about everything going on around him. He was so deeply merged in his inner work that for the first time he became indifferent to day-to-day activities.
To try to bring his attention back to everyday things, the men and women mandali urged him to take part in card games, carom and seven tiles, but when he played, he played without the least interest. During a card game, he would suddenly throw down the cards and quit; in the midst of a game of seven tiles, when it was his turn to throw, he would drop the ball and look away. When playing a game of carom, he would aim anywhere. He was in a seemingly most peculiar depressed state. Never before or since during his Avataric work was Baba found to be like this. Outwardly, he appeared totally unmindful and unconnected with everything.
Finding Baba in such a state, the mandali resorted to different types of amusements to please him – all were in vain.
They would shoulder Baba in his chair and take him long distances for walks, tell him funny stories, yet his disinterestedness did not let up but, on the contrary, increased. On the festive day of Diwali (October 20th), Meherazad was gaily decorated by Meheru on the women’s side and Meherdas on the men’s side, and Baba showed a glimmer of awareness of what was going on around him. But soon, he reverted to the same aloof condition.
One night, when Bhau was on watch in Baba’s bedroom, he saw a scorpion. Baba was resting on his bed. Because the least noise would disturb him, Bhau could not kill it. He just kept staring at it, and the scorpion remained where it was. Three hours passed. When at last Baba sat up in bed, Bhau killed the scorpion. Baba did not say anything. This was another example of his indifferent state.
Bhau would keep watch until midnight, and afterwards, Pendu, Vishnu and Rano would share the duty for two hours each until six o’clock in the morning. Once when Pendu was on watch, a scorpion stung him, but Baba did not say a word. Pendu writhed silently and could seek treatment only after his duty was over. Baba would usually be attentive to the smallest things, but during this period his listlessness increased to such an extent that it seemed no event, no matter what the calamity, could move him.
During this time, Baba asked neither for a drink of water, nor for his commode to answer nature’s call. These were to be given to him unasked. One night, Bhau handed him a glass of sherbet. Baba poured it into the glass that he used to pass urine, and then looked at Bhau. Bhau immediately grasped what he meant, which was that Baba wanted him to drink it. So he drank the sweetened water, and Baba quietly watched him. Bhau then washed the glass and gave it back to Baba for urinating. Baba just sat there like a statue, and Bhau had to repeatedly remind him to relieve himself. Finally, he did.
During these days, Bhau felt as if a thunderstorm were bursting over his head. Baba showed his aversion to him and would not allow him to come near him. At night, he would be on watch, and during the day he would remain in his room writing. He was working on Hindi ghazals at the time, later entitled Meher Geet Suda (Songs of Wine), but Baba was totally indifferent toward his efforts. Bhau felt as if Baba’s days were numbered and his life was coming to an end. All the mandali felt similarly.
Becoming indifferent to all, Baba made them interested in his disinterestedness. The more passive he was, the more attentive they were to him. On account of his indifferent attitude, the mandali were more determined and cautious than ever in following his behests to avoid the least cause of annoyance to him…
…Baba once explained to them: “God takes on human form to shoulder the load of suffering that humanity suffers through ignorance.” They did not argue with him further.
Lord Meher, American ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 17, 5792 – 5794.