Bili Eaton had come from New York for the sahavas. (May 1958) She was feeling full of guilt the entire time, as she had fallen in love with a man and had disobeyed Baba’s order on celibacy. When she first met Baba in the Lagoon Cabin with several others, she hid in a corner behind everyone where Baba could not see her. Baba had chatted with everyone and then asked, “Bili – where is Bili?” and called her to him.
Bili Eaton later narrated:
You can imagine sitting at Baba’s feet and him looking at me; I thought: “Oh God, what am I going to do?” I just felt this heavy pull, and he looked at me and said: “Do you love me as much as ever?” Time was going fast and slow at the same time. My mind was racing – what kind of answer can I give him? I did not know what to say. Then he said: “Do you love me as much as Anita does?” I had no way of knowing, so I said: “Baba, only you know all hearts.” And he smiled and let me off the hook.
Another time when Bili had come to the Lagoon Cabin, five of the group were reading letters to him. Still feeling guilty over her affair, she was trying to be happy and not cry in front of Baba. To offset the feeling of sadness, she began working herself up into a rage.
She later recalled:
For some reason, I felt Baba drew me to look at him. I don’t know how to explain that feeling. The look of love in his eyes was so strong and so powerful that had I not been seated, it would have knocked me down. I knew at that moment that he loved me in a way that was greater than all the love from all of my friends and family combined. The look was so powerful that it was like a bolt; and yet, it was so soft and warm. That love sustained me for years. I knew then, without a doubt, that Baba loves everybody. No matter who they are – how terrible they are, how simple they are, the worst murderers – he loves them. This love was so great that my healing began then.
Lord Meher, American ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 15, pp. 5433 – 5434.